# Casey Rosengren - How to Do Hard Things (Highlights)  ## Metadata **Review**:: [readwise.io](https://readwise.io/bookreview/40128536) **Source**:: #from/readwise #from/reader **Zettel**:: #zettel/fleeting **Status**:: #x **Authors**:: [[Casey Rosengren]] **Full Title**:: How to Do Hard Things **Category**:: #articles #readwise/articles **Category Icon**:: 📰 **Highlighted**:: [[2024-05-05]] **Created**:: [[2024-05-05]] ## Highlights ### Experiential avoidance → Willingness - A mentor of mine likes to talk about experiential avoidance as a sort of "reverse compass." When we notice the desire to avoid something, it may actually be telling us what we need to move toward the discomfort. ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01hwv4w0q2m8w8wtd9e08dw9c8)) ^714012963 - Willingness can be developed through formal mindfulness practice: sitting in silence while allowing difficult thoughts and feelings to be present. It can also be developed informally whenever we stop trying to get rid of painful thoughts and feelings and instead open up to them as part of the path toward what we care about. ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01hwv4xa17508kh0tds1s3a58q)) ^714013033 ### Fusion → Defusion - Defusion, on the other hand, is about noticing our thoughts are simply thoughts. When we can experience our thoughts as events happening inside our awareness, rather than taking whatever our mind says as reality itself, we can choose to pay attention to the thoughts that are more "workable" in moving us toward where we want to go in life. ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01hwv506rv64ctnawn13sy9qgs)) ^714013176 - A quick exercise you can do at home to practice defusion is to raise your hand in the air, start waving it back and forth, and at the same time say out loud, "I'm not waving my hand back and forth." Somewhat silly, I know, but it's a simple way to short-circuit the part of your brain that unconsciously buys into your thoughts. ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01hwv519wk6yhcezqwgnbdm7vz)) ^714013208 - To summarize: Defusion is about seeing thoughts as real, but not necessarily true, and about choosing to give weight to the thoughts that help us move toward the lives we want to live. ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01hwv51g9eh9pkh8wwndfdcb5n)) ^714013212 ### Past-future preoccupation → Present moment contact - Past-future preoccupation is a type of fusion that describes what happens when we get lost in our thoughts about the past or future, and we lose contact with what is happening right now, in the present. ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01hwv525c40gewav3h10e89rea)) ^714013249 - One practice you can try at home is to bring your attention to the stimuli coming in through your five senses. The body lives in the present, so when you're noticing a lot of past- or future-oriented thinking, coming back to your various senses is a powerful way to return to the here and now. ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01hwv53dh1tf843kpav3nvw4wn)) ^714013464 ### Rigid stories → Flexible perspective-taking - Moving toward a flexible sense of self and others is about recognizing that any story we tell, good or bad, is not the whole truth about a person, and is only true within a given context. ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01hwv55dvs9c85va5ky0x0btwj)) ^714013656 ### Lack of direction → Clear values - Moving toward values is about reconnecting our day-to-day activities to the things that matter most to us. It's about clarifying for ourselves what a life well-lived would look like, and then intentionally bringing those qualities into our life and work in the present. ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01hwv5647krjaxnmqmgmkn9f8a)) ^714013679 ### Inaction → Committed action - Committed action is about finding places in our lives where we might shift our behavior to be more aligned with our values. It's about using the skills above to work with whatever thoughts and feelings are sustaining unhelpful behaviors, and then taking small steps in new directions. ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01hwv571eprfkwnmm5dnhxqtbh)) ^714013698